Realities Curse
by Princess110
Summary: A Han and Leia, NJO AU. In this story there are two realities, in one everything is perfectly normal. At least at first. In the other Han Solo is presumed to be dead by Leia, and she has been married to Isolder since COPL. Han can use the force and is per
1. What's Happening?

Disclaimer: Its yours George Lucas, I'm not stealing, believe me I make NO money from this.   
  
Rating: PG- Maybe a little mild PG-13 in parts.   
  
Premise: (this is a majorly character driven story) There are two realities, with two different Han Solo's. And there are some MAJOR differences between them. But yet, they are the same person, aren't they? No one knows , including themselves, and when the two realities clash and get partially switched, who knows what might lie ahead, and who will be left in the end?   
  
Please read and reply everyone!   
  
****   
  
Han Solo took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.   
  
He listened.   
  
But not with his hears as he most people did.   
  
No, he listened with the Force.   
  
He could hear tiny little whisperings at the edge of his awareness.   
  
He opened his perceptions. Wider, wider......   
  
He saw something, someone.....They seemed familiar, almost to familiar. But who could is possible be?   
  
He stretched out again, albeit clumsily, he hadn't had the use of the Force long after all.   
  
The person was working on a ship, doing something. Huh, that was odd, that ship looked almost like his own ship, which had been destroyed years ago. The Falcon.   
  
But of course that was impossible.   
  
The person started to turn his head.   
  
And he saw......himself.   
  
Slam!   
  
He perceptions snapped back to him with a almost audible slam.   
  
Han held his hands over his head, a stabbing pain now behind his eyes.   
  
Himself, he'd seen himself. But why? How?   
  
It was impossible, the Falcon was gone, and so he obviously couldn't be working on it.   
  
And he hadn't been seeing the past, no it had a different feel to it then that.   
  
It was like he was seeing himself, but yet a different version of himself.   
  
He rubbed his hand over his throbbing temples.   
  
But later, when his head didn't hurt so much.   
  
He had to know. Had to find out what was so different about this other version of himself.   
  
It was most definitely intriguing.   
  
****   
  
Around Rebirth NJO, real star wars universe   
  
Han Solo pulled himself out from under the Falcon and grinned in satisfaction, wiping the grease of his hands with a rag.   
  
Now that was a perfect ship.   
  
Well....he cocked his head, leveling his keen gaze at the Falcon.   
  
He took in the scorch marks, the various special modifications.   
  
Okay, well, not perfect. But definitely back in working order.   
  
Unpredictably, cranky, but fast. As only the Falcon could be.   
  
He grinned again. Yep, life was good.   
  
And speaking of good....   
  
He'd been cooped up in the docking bay working on the Falcon for hours. Leia would be would scold him again (all in fun of course) that he cared more about his ship then her. Which was of course nonsense.   
  
But he did enjoy the scolding. And so, he suspected, did Leia. And the scolding usually led to better things....   
  
Suddenly his pleasant train of thought came to a abrupt halt.   
  
The hairs on the back of his neck tingled. Han had the sudden unmistakable feeling that something was watching him.   
  
He put his hand to his blaster on his hip.   
  
Then he turned slowly around, ready to snap out the blaster in a flash.   
  
Then he saw nothing. Nothing what so ever.   
  
How could that be? He wasn't imagining things, he was sure of it.   
  
"Who's there?" he called, his voice echoing in the docking bay.   
  
Then almost involuntarily his hand flinched off his blaster as sharp pain stabbed his head.   
  
What the---   
  
He felt almost like he was being...stretched.   
  
How odd.   
  
Then everything went black.   
  
******   
  
*******   
  
real star wars galaxy   
  
"Han, Han, what happened?"   
  
Han Solo opened his eyes slowly, squinting.   
  
His vision swam for a moment, then focused.   
  
Leia was leaning over him, her brow furrowed in concern.   
  
He struggled to wrap his tongue around words.   
  
"I-, I'm all right."   
  
The worried expression on Leia's face eased just a little bit.   
  
But she still looked concerned, "Are you sure?"   
  
Han pushed himself to a sitting position with a grunt. "Uh, yea."   
  
Then he immeaditly wished he hadn't, falling back down on his back as a sharp pain   
  
stabbed through his head.   
  
Ouch, okay maybe he wouldn't sit up.   
  
Leia looked at him, shaking her head wryly. "What, did that old hunk of junk ship of   
  
yours finally kill you."   
  
Han glared at her. Ha ha, very funny. Then he flashed her a lopsided grin. Well, as good   
  
of one as he could with his current headache.   
  
"No Princess, actually what it feels like is a hell of a hangover."   
  
Leia's eyes twinkled at him. "Han, you never change."   
  
"No sweetheart, I don't."   
  
And since he had a headache and didn't want to sit up, Han pulled Leia down next to him   
  
on the docking bay floor for a kiss.   
  
***** 


	2. Remembering

*****   
  
He held her hands, rubbing them between his palms.   
  
They were very close, faces only inchs apart.   
  
"You like me because I'm a scoundrel, there aren't enough scoundrels in your life."   
  
He moved closer, she was pressed back against the ship wall.   
  
"I happend to like nice men."   
  
"I'm a nice man."   
  
"No your--"   
  
He silenced her with a kiss.   
  
His lips on hers, softly, almost cautiously, hardly daring to believe he was kissing her.   
  
His hand carressed the back on her kneck.   
  
And miracle of all miracles; she didn't pull away......   
  
He bolted up right in bed, sweating.   
  
Han Solo looked around him. No Leia, just as there was always no Leia.   
  
As there hadn't for a very long time.   
  
Since she had abandoned him, left him to rot in carbonite in Jabba's palace, off fighting   
  
for the cursed Republic, putting her ideals ahead of him, as always.   
  
He'd gotten out by mere chance, many years later.   
  
And he'd found everything profoundly changed. Including himself.   
  
Leia was gone, married to some blonde creep from Hapan, Isolder.   
  
And his ship the Falcon, gone, in a scrap pile.   
  
But the changes to himself had been even worse.   
  
He'd emerged from the carbonite with a new talent.   
  
He could use the Force. But he didn't want it.   
  
He fought it for a long time, losing what few friends remembered him in the process all   
  
except.....   
  
Chewie.   
  
Chewie had died to trying to save Han from his own self destructive attempts to get back   
  
what he had lost.   
  
He'd died stopping Han from killing Isolder.   
  
That was a long time ago, he'd givin in to his fate;gained the force and lost everything   
  
else.   
  
He may have looked the same as before, inside he was differnt, so differnt. Everything,   
  
even his once trade mark sense of humor had deserted him.   
  
But Han had managed to forget things, even Leia. That way it didn't hurt so much.   
  
But now after all these years she was back in his dreams.   
  
He cursed under his breath. Damn her! What business did she have remaining on his   
  
mind, his heart, after all that had happend?   
  
But somehow that odd vision, or whatever it was, he'd seen of himself, but yet a differnt   
  
self had brought back ghost from his past.   
  
Including Leia.   
  
And he didn't want them! But yet he craved it, craved each and every memory like a drug.   
  
But the memories, like a drug, were empty, no substance, offering nothing but lies.   
  
Lies, all lies.   
  
*****   
  
*****   
  
Real star wars universe   
  
Jaina had just reaturned from a mission with her squadrom and was feeling a little down, she'd lost more pilots then usual, and some were new, very young. And she was their leader, responsible for them. It felt like her fault...   
  
So it felt good to be home. She entered the Solo home, and was emeaditly greeted by complte silence.   
  
"Mom, Dad, I'm home."   
  
"Hello?..." Her voice seemed to echo slightly.   
  
Where was everyone?   
  
Just then her mother emerged from the hallway, putting a finger to her lips.   
  
Jaina's crease appeared on Jaina's forehead as she gave her mother a perplexed look.   
  
"Mom, whats going on?"   
  
Leia gave her daughter a welcome back hug, and then explained in a quiet voice, almost a whisper.   
  
"Sorry to shush you, but your father wouldn't take well to disruption." Leia smiled slightly.   
  
"What's he doing?"   
  
"Well... Lets just say your father managed to get himself a galaxy of a headache, and he decied the cure was a round of sabbac."   
  
Jaina raised her eyebrows,"A round of sabbac to cure a headache? More likely to give him one."   
  
Leia shook her head. "So I tried to tell him. But he insisted on inviting Lando over for a round of sabbca and..."   
  
"And?" Jaina prompted, begining to get the idea of where this was going.   
  
"And Han can't seem to remember that Lando used to be a proffessional gambler."   
  
"Ah,in other words, he's losing."   
  
Jaina felt her black mood lifting, just a bit, despite herself.   
  
Her father was sometimes rather.... amusing. He was very good at getting himself in trouble, but by either a miracle or his famous luck, getting out of it.   
  
Jaina followed her mother into the other room to watch the game.   
  
They steped inside, the room was empty except for one table in the center, which her father and Lando had their heads bent over in intense concentration.   
  
The contrast between her father and his friend struck Jaina, as it always did.   
  
Her father was glaring at his cards as if he could change his hand by sheer force of will power.   
  
Well, if anyone could, Han could. His hair was ruffled, standing almost strait up , probably from running his hands through it over and over again. And he was as always, in his trade mark vest and pants with the correllian blood stripe. Jaina never ceased to be amazed that he still had those things, mother said he'd worn them, some very much like it, even during the rebellion.   
  
Lando was on the other hand was as differnt as day was from night. Okay well, there were some simularities, they both had the same smirk, either smirk of victory, or bluffing.   
  
But other then that there were few simularities.   
  
Lando wore a flamboyant royal blue cape, lined with, could it be? Velvet.   
  
Not a hair, nor a single acessory of his outfit was out of place. Jaina reflected wryly that he probably cared more about clothes then she did.   
  
Both the men gave a deep sigh. It was time to lay their cards down.   
  
Lando, flashing a suave grin, said, "You first Han?"   
  
Han scowled, then fliped his cards down. "Nothing."   
  
Lando's smile, if possible, grew even wider. He lained each card out, one by one, as if prolonging the moment. At the last card, he looked up, and bestowed that smile of the rest of the audience, then turned to Han. "Idiots array my friend. I believe I win."   
  
"You do huh? You genius you," Muttered Han under his breath.   
  
Leia quickly stepped in. "I hope you didn't bet anything to important this time Han." she said with a teasing smile, laying a hand on his shoulder.   
  
Suddenly Han couldn't help but smile back at her, he never could resist Leia   
  
smile. And he didn't want to.   
  
"No Princess, loser just gets to treat the other to a round of Correllian whisky."   
  
No, most definitly not anything important, there was no way he was going to repeat the time when he and Lando probably gambled the Falcon back and forth a dozen times...   
  
"Oh great, so now your both going to get drunk. What a wonderful cure for a headache."   
  
Han raised his hands in mock defense, "Hey, you can't expect me to give up on the chance for some good Corellian whisky, even if I am the one buying."   
  
Leia sighed,"Oh go on you to."   
  
So Lando and Han left, laughing and talking.   
  
Leia shook her head as she watched their retreating backs. Those two never changed...   
  
*****   
  
Authors Note:   
  
Culf: Hi, hehe, I caught a lurker! Lol, just kidding, glad you can review it over here, I'll be posting all the updates shortly, I posted again of tf.n a few days ago, and will continue to update more frequently then I have been. (sheepish look) I know I've been neglecting it. When will the realities meet? Well.....its a secret! ;)  
  
redmaggie: Thanks! Yea, Han Solo is my all time favorite star wars character, I spend waaaay to much time writing stories about him. He's the main focus of most of mine. Anyway, don't worry I'll continue it, its a pretty long story. :) 


	3. Throwing things

Other star wars universe   
  
Han Solo paced back and forth in the room, knowing he should be working on his Force exercises.   
  
But he couldn't concentrate, wishing, yet dreading, that using the force might bring him another vision of his other self, other life, or whatever it was...   
  
But he had to do something. He couldn't just pace back and forth all day.   
  
So he collapsed into a chair and flipped on the holo news.   
  
It was boring, as usual, and it soon had him drifting off into a mind-numbing state.   
  
Lando, flashing a suave grin, said, "You first Han?"   
  
Han scowled, then flipped his cards down. "Nothing."   
  
Lando's smile, if possible, grew even wider. He lined each card out, one by one, as if prolonging the moment. At the last card, he looked up, and bestowed that smile of the rest of the audience, then turned to Han. "Idiots array my friend. I believe I win."   
  
Han Solo jolted awake the echo of the dream, vision? Echoing in his mind he'd been playing sabbac with his old friend Lando... Friend? Hah! As if. He'd been the one to get him stuck in the carbonite to begin with.   
  
But he couldn't help remember another time, what seemed like another life when he'd thought Lando was his friend, where they'd played many games of sabbac together, Han often losing, but it was fun just the same.   
  
That was so long ago.....   
  
Suddenly he shot up out of his chair and lashed out, knocking the dresser beside his bed over, contents spilling about the floor.   
  
A deck of sabbac cards spilled out.   
  
The only cards facing up were the first to towards the idiots array.....   
  
Curse these force damned memories!   
  
He almost kicked at the scattered contents of the dresser in his anger, then stopped.   
  
And then he very carefully picked up each and every card and put it back in desk.   
  
Including the idiot.   
  
******   
  
Other star wars galaxy   
  
Leia sighed deeply as she walked into the royal chambers, returning from yet another audience in the throne room.   
  
She was tired, so tired. Tired of politics, tired of being the Queen Mother, and sometimes, times like right now, tired of life.   
  
It seemed to Leia that her life consisted of one round of diplomatic negotiations and confrontations. after another. In her political and personal life.   
  
Although it seemed as if there was alot more of the former then the later.   
  
With some relief she pulled the gauzy modesty veil the Queen Mother wore of her face and with a sudden feeling of recklessness, threw it to the floor and ground viciously it under her heel.   
  
Then she left the delicate and formerly flawless fabric where she'd left it.   
  
Then she went into the next room, taking off her tight heeled shoes as she did so, her bare feet meeting richly colored deep fabric.   
  
Then she collapsed into a ornate looking couch by a window, laying a hand over her closed eyes.   
  
She felt the beginnings of a throbbing headache there.   
  
But today those politicians had been more then enough to give anyone a headache. They had argued endlessly over inconsequential things, totally ignoring any of the real issues.   
  
She had eventually given up trying to say anything until they had exhausted their store of complaints.   
  
When they finally did--then she had spoken and drove the discussion towards important things.   
  
But it had taken hours.....   
  
"Must you throw things about so? It makes a horrorable mess to clean up."   
  
A disdainful voice cut into her thoughts and Lie sighed again, replying without taking her hand of her eyes.   
  
"Why do you care? Its not like your the one who has to clean it up."   
  
Leia sounded tired, she'd had enough of arguing already today.   
  
"No, the servants do."   
  
"As if you cared about servants. Or anyone else but yourself." snapped Leia, resentment creeping into your voice.   
  
"Thats not true and you know it dear. I care about you, and I care about our daughter. If she saw you like this, what kind of example for a Queen Mother would you be setting?"   
  
Leia took her hand of her eyes and abruptly sat up, her eyes snapping angrily as glared at Isolder.   
  
"If you care about me, then you have a awful twisted way of showing it!" hissed Leia, and Isolders handsome face showed astonishment, and disapproval at her show of temper.   
  
"Calm yourself," he said with exaggerated patience "You've just had a rough day, do you want our daughter to see you like this?"   
  
Leia came to her feet and in a instant, her already fragile control snapping. "Don't you mean your daughter? She's not mine, no more then any other of the numerous blonde haired children of servants running about are."   
  
Isolder came to his feet as well, towering over her, shouting a inch from her face. "You dare to question my honor?!"   
  
Leia's voice was cold, her expression hard. His shouting and temper tantrums no longer had the power to move her.   
  
"What honor?"   
  
Isolder gaped at her in astonishment for a moment before taking a breath to shout again.   
  
But Leia interrupted him before he even started.   
  
"Now now, calm down dear" she mocked, "You wouldn't want our daughter to see you treat the queen mother this way, its setting a bad example."   
  
And with that she turned and left the room without a backward glance.   
  
The earlier promise of a headache and roared to a full blown throbbing behind her eyes. Perhaps it was good she didn't have more personal life thought Leia bitterly, for blathering politicians were infinitely preferable to this.   
  
***** 


	4. Its Real

*****   
  
Other star wars galaxy   
  
Han Solo had come to a conclusion.   
  
He wasn't crazy.   
  
Well, at least no more then before anyway.   
  
These sudden flashes, glimpses really of himself in a altogether different and better life were not his own mind fooling him, trying to make things better.   
  
No, it really was another life.   
  
Another Han Solo, another Leia.....another everything.   
  
It didn't make sense, but it was like this same galaxy existed someplace else. But differently.   
  
Ah hell, that sounded stupid even inside his own head. But it was the only explanation that could possibly be. Not unless he wanted to believe he was finally cracking under all the pressure and going insane. No thank you. He didn't need that.   
  
A thought appeared from the depths and wrapped itself around his mind. If it was real.... Could he possibly watch it unpurpose?   
  
The idea made him catch his breath. He didn't know weather to push the thought back down where it had come from or to pull it out into the light of day and act upon it.   
  
But it wasn't as if he could go anywhere even if he wanted to. If anyone ever found him and recognized him it would be his death for sure. And despite all that had happened, he still wanted to live. He had all the time in the world.   
  
All the time in the world. For absolutely nothing. Nothing but running his thoughts, his mistakes, the useless past over and over in his mind.   
  
So, why not?   
  
He laid down on his narrow bed, closing his eyes, concentrating on his own breathing, presence in the Force until he was aware of nothing else.   
  
Then he fixed his mind on Leia as well. But not as she was, but the way he had seen her in that other place....   
  
Then he let his mind go.   
  
After what could have been minutes, or hours, he felt something.   
  
A feeling of stretching, that was the only way he could describe it.   
  
Then she flooded his mind.   
  
Leia.   
  
She was sitting across a table from someone, her expression serious and intent.   
  
She was talking, although he couldn't hear what she said.   
  
It was the expression he still remembered so well, the one she wore when the wheels of her mind were turning furiously as she outwitted whatever mental opponent she was engaged against.   
  
Usually a political opponent she was trying to convince.   
  
She was usually met with success.   
  
There were a few more lines on that face then before, but many of them were laugh lines, faint along the edges of her lips, the corners of her eyes....   
  
His mental gaze moved, somehow drawn to her hands under the table.   
  
Her hand was clasped in another, larger one with blunt finger tips instead of her slender delicate ones.   
  
He clearly recognized it as his own hand.   
  
The calluses were in all the right places. So were the scars.   
  
His hand squeezed Leia's as if to reassure her.   
  
Holding Leia's hand....   
  
Then suddenly his mental eye was almost jerked away from the linked hands and he saw the view of the table from behind.   
  
He saw the back of Leia's head, her dark hair coiled in a shining not.   
  
He was beside her.   
  
They were sitting across the table from a group of aliens and humans, who were clearly quite skeptical about what Leia was proposing.   
  
His others self seemed about to break into the debate, but then seemed to freeze. Then for no apparent reason he turned his head to look behind him.   
  
Han felt stab of panic, suddenly deathly afraid of what would happen if he looked his own self in the eye.   
  
No!   
  
"No!"   
  
He was laying back in his own bed, sweat drenching him, shouting at nothing.   
  
******   
  
Real Star Wars universe   
  
After the various diplomats left Leia lay her head back in her chair, rubbing at her temples.   
  
How could so many so called diplomats be so.....undiplomatic?   
  
She was trying to negotiate to find a planet to be a refuge for some of the jedi. They couldn't all stay in the Maw, it was to isolated. And it was quite frankly unreasonable to expect Booster to jump them around on the Errant Venture forever.   
  
They needed somewhere to come and rest before heading back out to the fight. A haven.   
  
So the planet had to be one relatively untouched by the Vong. There weren't many of those, and if they were they intended to stay that way.   
  
Inviting dozens of jedi to stay was not likely to do that. It was more like putting up a big sign and waving, "come shoot me!"   
  
Leia had known this, but had hoped someone might be altruistic enough to look past the danger.   
  
Vain hope. She should have know better by now.   
  
She closed her eyes and lay a hand over them, shielding them from the light hoping to soothe her throbbing headache. She sighed.   
  
If only.....   
  
"Hey Leia, their gone now, you don't have to hide."   
  
Leia peered out from under her hand, "No, their not gone, their never gone."   
  
Han reached out and started massaging her shoulders with his strong hands.   
  
She leaned into his hands. "Han, you have no idea how good that feels."   
  
He leaned over and whispered in her ear in a suggestive tone, "You wanna bet Princess? You do me next and we'll find out."   
  
Leia smiled in spite of her headache and opened her eyes to meet his twinkling gaze.   
  
"Han, your hopeless."   
  
He slid in beside her in the huge chair so she was almost on his lap.   
  
"I should think so. Who would you argue with if not me?"   
  
She chuckled ruefully. "Everyone actualy. They weren't exactly cooperative today."   
  
Hans expression grew serious. "You want me to shoot them for Sweetheart?"   
  
Leia looked momentarily shocked, "Han! You know that--"   
  
Then she saw the quirk of his lips as he tried to suppress a smile.   
  
"Your tired Leia, normally you wouldn't fall for it that easy."   
  
She leaned back against his chest. "Yes Han, I am tired. Tired of no one else cooperating, tired of this war. Just....tired."   
  
"Not tired of me I hope."   
  
"Of course not!"   
  
Han wrapped his arms around her waist. "But seriously, you do look tired. What if you tried calling them on the holonet first before calling them all the way here? That way you wouldn't have to deal with a dozen idiots at once."   
  
Leia's brow wrinkled in thought. "Hmmm, you know that could work. I haven't tried to talk to the Hapens yet. Maybe they would help."   
  
"Oh great, just what I always wanted. To his perfect blonde hignhess again."   
  
"What?"   
  
"Never mind. You go ahead and try the Hapens sweetheart. But....."   
  
"But what?"   
  
"You don't have to call them right now do you?"   
  
Leia laughed, Han's expression was so tottaly innoccent, if she didn't know Han so well she almost would have believed it.   
  
Almost.   
  
She traced the scar on his chin with her finger. "Then what did you have in mind?"   
  
"Surely you can guess."   
  
"Tell me anyway."   
  
Then he whispered words meant for her ears alone.   
  
***** 


End file.
